One of the most important points I try to make when talking about teen/child safety is the fact that you are better off to monitor than to restrict the use of a kid’s computer or cell phone.

Over the years, I have had many parents come to me long after having identified an issue with their teen; be it inappropriate communication or behavior on the Internet or a cell phone, communication between their child and a stranger or an adult, or inappropriate sexual photos and/or comments shared via one of the social networking sites such as “Myspace.”

By the time the parents come to me with this problem, they have usually done what they believe to be the right thing and thought they have the issue solved. The parents by this time would have restricted their child from using “Myspace”, removed the computer from the child’s room, or blocked the child from “Myspace” using either a software or hardware solution. In the case of a cell phone, they have taken the cell phone away from their child.

I have had many circumstances where the child then resorts to one of the many alternate forms of communication available to them. They will then rely on their friend’s computers and cell phones, home phones, library computers, school computers etc…etc.

With my job experience, I have learned it is better to keep the communication lines open with kids than to have no idea who they are communicating with, or when.It is not uncommon to have families communicate completely using cell phones, and seldom if ever use a regular home phone.

I have also had many cases where an inappropriate relationship developed on-line, then progressing to a point where cell phone numbers are exchanged. Once cell phone numbers are exchanged, the relationship continues on a deeper level via text messaging over a cell phone. Text messaging allows the perpetrator to have access to a child any time of the day or night, even during school hours when we feel our kids are “safe” at school.