James N. Brown, J.D.
Detective - Retired

Recently, a mother asked me about time limits for teenagers using a computer. This is an excellent question, and I believe the answer can be applied to any activity that attracts a teenager’s interest.

It is important for these types of decisions to be discussed with the family. All children should have a balance of activities and interests. It is not a good idea to indulge them in too much of anything. My parents limited our time to watch TV and use the telephone. As we became older, and after showing age-appropriate levels of responsibility, we were granted extended time to watch TV, use the telephone, participate in sports, and spend time with our friends.

So yes, I support limiting a teenager’s on-line and cell phone time. The exact amount of time will depend on the family. If rules are followed, and trust is built, limitations can always be increased. The amount of time should be reasonable and an amount that is agreeable to the parents and the teenager. This will be hard because today's teenagers use their computers and cell phones as a means of communication.

Whatever amount of time is allowed on the computer, be sure the time is monitored. The Internet-connected computer should be in a common area of the residence. It is imperative that parents pay attention to what their teenagers are doing while on-line. If they suddenly close a screen or switch activities when a parent walks up, the parent needs to find out what the teenager was doing, and why the teenager did not want the parent to see. The parent will not know what is going on if the computer is not in a common area. This is not spying…this is being a good parent!

Successful parenting means being involved. This is what makes the RADAR system such a valuable tool. It allows children and their parents to work together to establish whom is allowed to communicate with the child’s cell phone. The system allows parents to know when an unapproved communication is made. This is important information. The parent will use it later to determine if it was a wrong number, a number that can be added to the approved list, or if there is a problem. Again, this is not spying…this is being a good parent.