How to proceed, as a parent, once the relationship is discovered? It basically depends on the relationship between the child and the suspect. If the child and the suspect have normal daily contact, i.e. the suspect is a teacher or a coach maybe even a close neighbor, then some measures need to be taken to insure the integrity of the criminal case, and again, I have several goals with the first and foremost being the protection of the child, i.e. keep them away from the suspect. Secondarily is the protection of the criminal case.

Sometimes the “victim” and the “suspect” have developed a very serious and deep relationship and simple parental interjection will cause a quick and often time’s rebellious attitude and/or actions from the “victim.” This reaction varies with the gender and age of the child.

Generally, I explain to the child that the adult has used their influence as a grown-up to exploit the child. Many times I will discover the child is not the only victim, meaning the suspect has other children he/she is grooming. This fact often helps the victim realize she/he is truly a victim of manipulation. Often times, this strategy will vary depending on the age and relationship between the “suspect” and the “victim” and the relationship between the child and his or her parents.

Unfortunately, the response of many parents is to immediately remove any and all types of communication devices from the child. Usually they restrict the child, take away their cell phone, and disallow any computer usage. I personally disagree with this strategy, as I have seen too many times the child continues the relationship using other means of communicating.

Sometimes the parent/guardian will confront or contact the suspect in an effort to keep the person away from the child. I strongly urge any parent to first contact their local law enforcement agency for advice if they discover an inappropriate relationship between their child and an adult. There are many ways to preserve the evidence and protect the child; most of them are not obvious to parents during such a stressful occurrence.

OK, to summarize so far

Protect your child

Notify law enforcement

Don’t confront the suspect!

Don’t take away the lines of communication!

Again more to follow! (Feel free to contact me via the forum should a specific incident arise)

Inv. Jeff Brown